How to Be More Self-Aware

Self-awareness is the ability to see and understand one’s own thoughts, feelings, and actions. It
also means knowing how your behavior affects the people around you. We can all practice it to
improve our relationships with others and ourselves.

Here are some important things we can strive to be more aware of:

− Your inner view, to know your own moods, fears, and hopes.
− Your outer view, for seeing how others view you.
− Your strengths, celebrating what you do well and where you need help.
− Your values, to know what matters most to you in life.

By working to be more self-aware, we can make better choices by taking a pause to think
before we act. We can form stronger bonds through insightful listening and learning how we
can best care for others. Also, confronting our mistakes is painful, but it must be done for us to learn from them.

The following are some practical ways to help yourself become more self-aware.

Try keeping a journal. This is useful both for expressing yourself and reviewing later to spot
patterns and new thought points. It can take any form and doesn’t have to meet anyone’s
standards but your own. It can be anything from a quick scrawl to long stories. Journals can
have specific jobs such as logging something or keeping notes for later. You don’t have to write
every day, just when it’s time.

It can be uncomfortable, but it can be helpful to ask for feedback from people you trust from
time to time. Talk to friends or coworkers to learn how others see you. To ask for useful
feedback, be specific. Avoid vague questions like “How am I doing?” Instead, pick a certain
project and ask targeted open-ended questions. Frame your request around growth rather than
reassurance and give the other person time to prepare. Reassure the person that you genuinely
want to hear their perspective and will not get defensive.

When doing some self-examination, ask yourself “what,” not “why.” Ask, “What caused this?”
instead of “Why am I like this?” to be kinder to yourself. Asking “what” instead of “why” avoids
placing premature blame, stops people from getting defensive, and focuses conversations on
facts and solutions.

To learn more about self-awareness and other topics, check out our blog. For questions and
appointments, write to us on our website or call us at (585) 442-6960.