Self-Worth: Dealing With Your Mistakes
For our series on improving self-worth, we’ve discussed what self-worth is, how to take care of yourself, and how to protect your self-worth in relationships. Today, we want to share some brief, simple tips on how to deal with your mistakes in a way that will grow your self-worth.
The first thing to do is acknowledge your mistake. This is the first step toward recovery, but it is often the most difficult. To try and fix a mistake, you must be honest with yourself and anyone else involved. Do this as quickly as possible. Try to see things from multiple angles so you can best understand the type of effect your mistake has had and where you went wrong.
It’s important to remember that, in its essence, a mistake is an accident. It is trouble caused without intent. Trouble caused with intent is a different matter, but the atonement process can be similar.
Next, take responsibility for your mistake, the decisions that led up to it, and the effect it has had. Taking responsibility is about understanding the impact of your mistake. Taking responsibility is an act of taking power over the situation by owning your mistake and choosing how you will respond to it. It’s about response, not reaction.
Next, assess if there are apologies to be made. If so, make them and mean every word of them. Don’t just apologize for how your actions made those affected feel. Apologize for what you did and how it affected them. This is also a difficult step as it involves humility. Sometimes we have to apologize for actions that were not, in themselves, wrong or offensive, yet they caused harm anyway. A well-worded apology has saved many a relationship. Just like taking responsibility, making an apology is an act of power.
Now it’s time to take steps to make it right, if there is a way to do so. Take time to think and craft a solution that is fair to all involved. This can take some time and effort, but it will be worth it. The former steps are all part of making it right as much as you can.
Next, evaluate what you’ve learned from the mistake and your acts to improve the situation.
Some frequent lessons we learn are:
− Thinking before we speak
− Putting aside our pride
− Offering mercy and grace
− Not being overly critical of ourselves and others
Learning from our mistakes is important to ensure we don’t repeat them. It’s also essential to
help us forgive ourselves.
To learn more about dealing with your mistakes and forgiving yourself, consider talk therapy. A qualified therapist can help you ask yourself the right questions so you can work out the answers. Consider journaling so you can put your thoughts into words, compile a record of your choices and their effects, and identify patterns. You can use any format you choose and show it
to others or keep it private. Talk to us anytime on our website or by calling (585) 442-6960.
